Re-Socializing/De-Traumatizing my adopted cat. [LONG]

Question:

I have no particular suggestions for how to deal with this situation, but something in your post did catch my eye: Your attempts at "olfactory bonding" will probably be more successful if you give your cat one of your unwashed sweaty stinky T-shirts to sniff, and not just a towel that you’ve used when you smell more like soap than yourself. -Sandra

Response:

| It is probably better in this case that the cat has no choice but to | be in close contact with you, which in turn will provide you with the | opportunity to show him just how pleasant that can be. There is one other thing worth mentioning here.  It may fall into the "obvious" category, but I’m surprised by the number of people who don’t know this. Never stare at the cat!  You may even "win" staring matches, but you’ll have sent the wrong message to the cat.  This is hostile body language to them.   The trouble here is that staring at what interests us is natural *human* behavior; most of the time we aren’t even aware of doing this.  It takes conscious effort to avoid it, but it’s important to use eye and face language that cats understand.   Blink slowly and often – it may help to smile as you’re trying doing this, or even to mentally say "I love you" while at it.  Look away, turning your head slightly, for a while before gazig back and blinking again.  These are all "I like you, I accept you" signals to a cat. And watch for the cat to blink back at you!

Response:

Arjun Ray’s advice about how to lovingly slowly blink at a cat is excellent.  I heard Dr. Patricia McConnell (a vet/animal behaviorist who had a TV show for a while on Animal Planet) describe it once as "look like you’re kinda stupid, with your eyes half closed, and barely blink, slowly."  When you see the cat blink back at you, you should feel every bit as rewarded as if a dog has come and lept all over you & licked you & wagged his tail.  Cats are just a little more subtle, but they let you know all the same. I never try to look my cats in the eyes unless I’m doing it that way. Rosemary

Response:

Congratulations on the progress you’ve made so far. You might try posting to rec.pets.cats.rescue since the folks in that newsgroup have a lot of experience rescuing feral cats, which have similar behavior patterns to what you describe. You may be able to make more progress by simply leaving the cat alone instead of trying to initiate a petting session.  So long as the cat associates you with food, he will continue to come around and will eventually become interested in getting a bit closer. This is the time to start the first steps to getting him to come closer.  I usually sit quietly and extend a forefinger in the cat’s direction.  The cat will often become curious enough to touch your finger with its nose, then run off.  Some people keep treats or some form of food nearby to encourage the cat. You really have limited success when you try to socialize a cat when it’s not in the mood.  I know it’s hard to force yourself to be patient because you want to pet the cat, but it really is better to wait until the cat is in the mood before trying techniques to get it to trust you. Good luck, and let us know what works for you. Bill

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I started taking care of Chuckie about 3 years ago. He was > formerly the "House cat" at a large, loosely-run rehabilitation > facility. The Idiot who ran this operation and owned > the building got bought out and evicted, and she only gave her > sub-tenants 2 days notice that they had to leave and would now be, > essentially, *homeless*. > Some of these recovering addict/tenants were > pretty screwed up, and the cat was never neutered, so needless to say > the whole building stank of cat pee, BUT, I’ve been reliably > informed that the cat was very social and friendly, and basically > acted like he owned the building. > I’m convinced the cat was severely > traumatized by one or more of the people who got evicted, as > I found lots of smashed televisions and mirrors in the bedrooms > of these previous tenants. The building was quite secure after > the eviction, so it’s not trespassers who did this. > I became the custodian of the building almost 4 weeks after the > eviction, and discovered Chuckie…he was thin, but looked healthy > and spry and alert, but most importantly, TERRIFIED of people. > There was no water or food, nor litterbox that I could find, but plenty > of mice and rats to keep Chuckie fed and hydrated. > I started feeding him cheap wet food (Fancy Feast) and Max dry cat food, > changing his litter etc. He never let anyone get close, but would sit > a safe distance and eat if I was far enough away. > Cut to the present…for the next 6 months, at least, I’m staying in a > multi-room apt. > Chuckie is with me, had a check-up and rabies vaccine > about 15 months ago, and was neutered. He seems to be healthy. > But he won’t let me touch him, and hisses if I approach. > He sleeps and hides in another room in a secluded spot > I set up for him with a towel of mine; > I dried myself with it a few times for "olfactory bonding" so he can > get used to my scent. > I talk to him a lot, feed him as much Science Diet/Triumph/Eagle-Pack wet > food as I can, and Eagle-Pack Wholistic dry food to provide the balance > of his caloric/nutritional needs, > though I wish he was less picky about wet food. > I give him Fancy Feast once or twice a week, the small can. > His main covered litterbox is in my bedroom, with a small open-stile > litterbox one in the room he hangs out in most of the time. > I use clumping litter, and clean it daily. > I set up a 2 foot high barrier/wall of 2 layers high of > empty cardboard boxes, so that I can’t see him directly > if he eats or goes into his litter box, nor can he see me. > I want him to feel as safe as possible, and especially don’t > want him to be scared/aprehensive in regards > "going to the bathroom". > If he thinks I’m asleep, he’s not shy about eating or loudly scraping > his litter box for 5 minutes…after doing his business he bolts out > of the box and out the door to "his area", usully waking me up. > I give him some catnip every other night, and I gave him a large > long piece of sheetrock that he loves to execise his claws on. > He’s mostly awake while I’m asleep, and runs around very occasionally > in the area where I can’t see him. > There are no mice or rats in or near the apartment, and there’s no food > or waste or other tenants. > For awhile, he would sleep/hang-out right under my platform futon bed, > in a spot where I could just pop my head over and literally be > face to face with him. > He was nervous, but no hissing. I’d talk to him that way too. > I notice he hisses/retreats/hides if I raise my hand or arm. > Also, I’m upset that he no longer sleeps near me. Anything that scares him > seems to set back whatever progress we’ve achieved in getting him to relax in > my presence, let alone hang out in the same room. > I don’t know how to safely push the envelope, and I don’t want to have my > hand or arm turned into raw meat either if he attacks me for touching him. > It’s incredibly frustrating to not be able to pet him and be physically > close to him, as I do love cats and my family had two when I was a teenager. > I’ve looked at the feral cats group on Yahoo. > I subscribed to their mailing list, but it was too heavily trafficked, > mostly by inconsiderate regulars who would-cross talk on the list, > and never trim their mail properly. The traffic in that group will > fill up a basic yahoo account in less than two weeks! > I’ve searched on google and lurked in this newsgroup, but never > found helpful info that’s really specific to my situation. > So it’s time for me to de-lurk and post my story, hoping to get > some useful help and resources. > TIA > –John H. (Please post to the newsgroup, no email to be because of spam.)

Response:

| I don’t know how to safely push the envelope, and I don’t want to have | my hand or arm turned into raw meat either if he attacks me for touching | him. Pushing the envelope is largely a matter of patience, persistence and consistency.  Cats will readily take to any routine they find congenial, and can be lulled into accepting gradual changes.   You’ve done a lot of things right already, such as giving him the chance to feel safe, allowing him to check you out at his leisure (e.g., when you’re asleep), and "scenting" the premises.  The remaining piece is to get him to *want* to be near you.   An important factor is that Chuckie should associate you with food: as they say, "food is love".  Get him used to the idea of eating in your presence.  Start by putting the food down and retreating to what now seems to be a safe distance (to him).  Each day, just move back a little less.  It also helps to feed at a regular time, so that the cat *knows* that it’s food time, and will thus focus more on the food than on how near you are.  Eventually, you should be able to have him eat right next to you. The other important factor is getting him accustomed to being touched gently.  You can try inducing him to play with a feather toy (a couple of feathers on a cord attached to a long stick handle, that you can wave and flop about), and while playing, stroke the feathers on his body. When you can stay close to him, try playing with a long handled back brush – e.g. the Quickie bath&shower brush with nylon fibers.  Let him sniff it first.  Slowly extend the brush face up at eye level or below, not from above, which could be threatening.  The idea here is to aim at stroking him on his chin, jawline, under the ears and thr sides of his neck (not the top of his head just yet – that’s for d*gs!)  He’ll bat at the brush at first – that’s fine, just stroke his paws with it.  Then try stroking his forelegs, and if he bats again, just keep with the gentle stroking motions.  He’ll get used to the soft touch and to this being a different kind of game.   Then, you’ll be able to extend the brush all the way to his chin and jawline for similar gentle and short stroking.  Soon, you’ll be able to "steal" quick strokes of the side of his face under his ears – the day will come when he’ll lean into the brush for a deeper stroke. Combine this with his feeding – you should be able to stroke him on his neck and back with the brush while he’s eating.  But don’t overdo it – the watchword is patience!     Once he’s used to the brush (he doesn’t bat at any more, but expects the pleasure of the stroking), try extending your hand the same way.  He’ll sniff, but he won’t bite if he associates you with food.  What he accepted with the brush he’ll also accept with your hand. Do keep talking to him, and doing normal things in his presence.  Cats pick up on emotional attitudes too.  He’ll get the idea that he is indeed an essential part of the "family".  Good luck!

Response:

>I’ve searched on google and lurked in >this newsgroup, but never found helpful >info that’s really specific to my situation.

You may find some helpful info in a post I wrote awhile back: http://groups.google.com/groups?selm=5729-3D377F49-113%40storefull-21… Since you have a room he likes to be in, you could limit him to that area instead of a large cage. I  also suggest that you get some Feliway and spray it in the room daily, and mist your clothing with a little as well. Spend as much time as possible in the room with him doing non-threatening things like reading or watching TV. Make sure he is not in a position where he is able to hide away from you, although giving him a cat tree with a high shelf he could consider as refuge would be OK. It takes a lot of time to build trust with some of these cats, but sometimes leaving them alone to go at their own pace does nothing to promote progress. It is probably better in this case that the cat has no choice but to be in close contact with you, which in turn will provide you with the opportunity to show him just how pleasant that can be. I hope this helps. Megan     "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." -Edmund Burke Learn The TRUTH About Declawing http://www.stopdeclaw.com Zuzu’s Cats Photo Album: http://www.PictureTrail.com/zuzu22

Response:

I started taking care of Chuckie about 3 years ago. He was formerly the "House cat" at a large, loosely-run rehabilitation facility. The Idiot who ran this operation and owned the building got bought out and evicted, and she only gave her sub-tenants 2 days notice that they had to leave and would now be, essentially, *homeless*. Some of these recovering addict/tenants were pretty screwed up, and the cat was never neutered, so needless to say the whole building stank of cat pee, BUT, I’ve been reliably informed that the cat was very social and friendly, and basically acted like he owned the building. I’m convinced the cat was severely traumatized by one or more of the people who got evicted, as I found lots of smashed televisions and mirrors in the bedrooms of these previous tenants. The building was quite secure after the eviction, so it’s not trespassers who did this. I became the custodian of the building almost 4 weeks after the eviction, and discovered Chuckie…he was thin, but looked healthy and spry and alert, but most importantly, TERRIFIED of people. There was no water or food, nor litterbox that I could find, but plenty of mice and rats to keep Chuckie fed and hydrated. I started feeding him cheap wet food (Fancy Feast) and Max dry cat food, changing his litter etc. He never let anyone get close, but would sit a safe distance and eat if I was far enough away. Cut to the present…for the next 6 months, at least, I’m staying in a multi-room apt. Chuckie is with me, had a check-up and rabies vaccine about 15 months ago, and was neutered. He seems to be healthy. But he won’t let me touch him, and hisses if I approach. He sleeps and hides in another room in a secluded spot I set up for him with a towel of mine; I dried myself with it a few times for "olfactory bonding" so he can get used to my scent. I talk to him a lot, feed him as much Science Diet/Triumph/Eagle-Pack wet food as I can, and Eagle-Pack Wholistic dry food to provide the balance of his caloric/nutritional needs, though I wish he was less picky about wet food. I give him Fancy Feast once or twice a week, the small can. His main covered litterbox is in my bedroom, with a small open-stile litterbox one in the room he hangs out in most of the time. I use clumping litter, and clean it daily. I set up a 2 foot high barrier/wall of 2 layers high of empty cardboard boxes, so that I can’t see him directly if he eats or goes into his litter box, nor can he see me. I want him to feel as safe as possible, and especially don’t want him to be scared/aprehensive in regards "going to the bathroom". If he thinks I’m asleep, he’s not shy about eating or loudly scraping his litter box for 5 minutes…after doing his business he bolts out of the box and out the door to "his area", usully waking me up. I give him some catnip every other night, and I gave him a large long piece of sheetrock that he loves to execise his claws on. He’s mostly awake while I’m asleep, and runs around very occasionally in the area where I can’t see him. There are no mice or rats in or near the apartment, and there’s no food or waste or other tenants. For awhile, he would sleep/hang-out right under my platform futon bed, in a spot where I could just pop my head over and literally be face to face with him. He was nervous, but no hissing. I’d talk to him that way too. I notice he hisses/retreats/hides if I raise my hand or arm. Also, I’m upset that he no longer sleeps near me. Anything that scares him seems to set back whatever progress we’ve achieved in getting him to relax in my presence, let alone hang out in the same room. I don’t know how to safely push the envelope, and I don’t want to have my hand or arm turned into raw meat either if he attacks me for touching him. It’s incredibly frustrating to not be able to pet him and be physically close to him, as I do love cats and my family had two when I was a teenager. I’ve looked at the feral cats group on Yahoo. I subscribed to their mailing list, but it was too heavily trafficked, mostly by inconsiderate regulars who would-cross talk on the list, and never trim their mail properly. The traffic in that group will fill up a basic yahoo account in less than two weeks! I’ve searched on google and lurked in this newsgroup, but never found helpful info that’s really specific to my situation. So it’s time for me to de-lurk and post my story, hoping to get some useful help and resources. TIA –John H. (Please post to the newsgroup, no email to be because of spam.)

Response:

I have no particular suggestions for how to deal with this situation, but something in your post did catch my eye: Your attempts at "olfactory bonding" will probably be more successful if you give your cat one of your unwashed sweaty stinky T-shirts to sniff, and not just a towel that you’ve used when you smell more like soap than yourself. -Sandra

Response:

| It is probably better in this case that the cat has no choice but to | be in close contact with you, which in turn will provide you with the | opportunity to show him just how pleasant that can be. There is one other thing worth mentioning here.  It may fall into the "obvious" category, but I’m surprised by the number of people who don’t know this. Never stare at the cat!  You may even "win" staring matches, but you’ll have sent the wrong message to the cat.  This is hostile body language to them.   The trouble here is that staring at what interests us is natural *human* behavior; most of the time we aren’t even aware of doing this.  It takes conscious effort to avoid it, but it’s important to use eye and face language that cats understand.   Blink slowly and often – it may help to smile as you’re trying doing this, or even to mentally say "I love you" while at it.  Look away, turning your head slightly, for a while before gazig back and blinking again.  These are all "I like you, I accept you" signals to a cat. And watch for the cat to blink back at you!

Response:

Arjun Ray’s advice about how to lovingly slowly blink at a cat is excellent.  I heard Dr. Patricia McConnell (a vet/animal behaviorist who had a TV show for a while on Animal Planet) describe it once as "look like you’re kinda stupid, with your eyes half closed, and barely blink, slowly."  When you see the cat blink back at you, you should feel every bit as rewarded as if a dog has come and lept all over you & licked you & wagged his tail.  Cats are just a little more subtle, but they let you know all the same. I never try to look my cats in the eyes unless I’m doing it that way. Rosemary

Response:

Congratulations on the progress you’ve made so far. You might try posting to rec.pets.cats.rescue since the folks in that newsgroup have a lot of experience rescuing feral cats, which have similar behavior patterns to what you describe. You may be able to make more progress by simply leaving the cat alone instead of trying to initiate a petting session.  So long as the cat associates you with food, he will continue to come around and will eventually become interested in getting a bit closer. This is the time to start the first steps to getting him to come closer.  I usually sit quietly and extend a forefinger in the cat’s direction.  The cat will often become curious enough to touch your finger with its nose, then run off.  Some people keep treats or some form of food nearby to encourage the cat. You really have limited success when you try to socialize a cat when it’s not in the mood.  I know it’s hard to force yourself to be patient because you want to pet the cat, but it really is better to wait until the cat is in the mood before trying techniques to get it to trust you. Good luck, and let us know what works for you. Bill

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I started taking care of Chuckie about 3 years ago. He was > formerly the "House cat" at a large, loosely-run rehabilitation > facility. The Idiot who ran this operation and owned > the building got bought out and evicted, and she only gave her > sub-tenants 2 days notice that they had to leave and would now be, > essentially, *homeless*. > Some of these recovering addict/tenants were > pretty screwed up, and the cat was never neutered, so needless to say > the whole building stank of cat pee, BUT, I’ve been reliably > informed that the cat was very social and friendly, and basically > acted like he owned the building. > I’m convinced the cat was severely > traumatized by one or more of the people who got evicted, as > I found lots of smashed televisions and mirrors in the bedrooms > of these previous tenants. The building was quite secure after > the eviction, so it’s not trespassers who did this. > I became the custodian of the building almost 4 weeks after the > eviction, and discovered Chuckie…he was thin, but looked healthy > and spry and alert, but most importantly, TERRIFIED of people. > There was no water or food, nor litterbox that I could find, but plenty > of mice and rats to keep Chuckie fed and hydrated. > I started feeding him cheap wet food (Fancy Feast) and Max dry cat food, > changing his litter etc. He never let anyone get close, but would sit > a safe distance and eat if I was far enough away. > Cut to the present…for the next 6 months, at least, I’m staying in a > multi-room apt. > Chuckie is with me, had a check-up and rabies vaccine > about 15 months ago, and was neutered. He seems to be healthy. > But he won’t let me touch him, and hisses if I approach. > He sleeps and hides in another room in a secluded spot > I set up for him with a towel of mine; > I dried myself with it a few times for "olfactory bonding" so he can > get used to my scent. > I talk to him a lot, feed him as much Science Diet/Triumph/Eagle-Pack wet > food as I can, and Eagle-Pack Wholistic dry food to provide the balance > of his caloric/nutritional needs, > though I wish he was less picky about wet food. > I give him Fancy Feast once or twice a week, the small can. > His main covered litterbox is in my bedroom, with a small open-stile > litterbox one in the room he hangs out in most of the time. > I use clumping litter, and clean it daily. > I set up a 2 foot high barrier/wall of 2 layers high of > empty cardboard boxes, so that I can’t see him directly > if he eats or goes into his litter box, nor can he see me. > I want him to feel as safe as possible, and especially don’t > want him to be scared/aprehensive in regards > "going to the bathroom". > If he thinks I’m asleep, he’s not shy about eating or loudly scraping > his litter box for 5 minutes…after doing his business he bolts out > of the box and out the door to "his area", usully waking me up. > I give him some catnip every other night, and I gave him a large > long piece of sheetrock that he loves to execise his claws on. > He’s mostly awake while I’m asleep, and runs around very occasionally > in the area where I can’t see him. > There are no mice or rats in or near the apartment, and there’s no food > or waste or other tenants. > For awhile, he would sleep/hang-out right under my platform futon bed, > in a spot where I could just pop my head over and literally be > face to face with him. > He was nervous, but no hissing. I’d talk to him that way too. > I notice he hisses/retreats/hides if I raise my hand or arm. > Also, I’m upset that he no longer sleeps near me. Anything that scares him > seems to set back whatever progress we’ve achieved in getting him to relax in > my presence, let alone hang out in the same room. > I don’t know how to safely push the envelope, and I don’t want to have my > hand or arm turned into raw meat either if he attacks me for touching him. > It’s incredibly frustrating to not be able to pet him and be physically > close to him, as I do love cats and my family had two when I was a teenager. > I’ve looked at the feral cats group on Yahoo. > I subscribed to their mailing list, but it was too heavily trafficked, > mostly by inconsiderate regulars who would-cross talk on the list, > and never trim their mail properly. The traffic in that group will > fill up a basic yahoo account in less than two weeks! > I’ve searched on google and lurked in this newsgroup, but never > found helpful info that’s really specific to my situation. > So it’s time for me to de-lurk and post my story, hoping to get > some useful help and resources. > TIA > –John H. (Please post to the newsgroup, no email to be because of spam.)

Response:

| I don’t know how to safely push the envelope, and I don’t want to have | my hand or arm turned into raw meat either if he attacks me for touching | him. Pushing the envelope is largely a matter of patience, persistence and consistency.  Cats will readily take to any routine they find congenial, and can be lulled into accepting gradual changes.   You’ve done a lot of things right already, such as giving him the chance to feel safe, allowing him to check you out at his leisure (e.g., when you’re asleep), and "scenting" the premises.  The remaining piece is to get him to *want* to be near you.   An important factor is that Chuckie should associate you with food: as they say, "food is love".  Get him used to the idea of eating in your presence.  Start by putting the food down and retreating to what now seems to be a safe distance (to him).  Each day, just move back a little less.  It also helps to feed at a regular time, so that the cat *knows* that it’s food time, and will thus focus more on the food than on how near you are.  Eventually, you should be able to have him eat right next to you. The other important factor is getting him accustomed to being touched gently.  You can try inducing him to play with a feather toy (a couple of feathers on a cord attached to a long stick handle, that you can wave and flop about), and while playing, stroke the feathers on his body. When you can stay close to him, try playing with a long handled back brush – e.g. the Quickie bath&shower brush with nylon fibers.  Let him sniff it first.  Slowly extend the brush face up at eye level or below, not from above, which could be threatening.  The idea here is to aim at stroking him on his chin, jawline, under the ears and thr sides of his neck (not the top of his head just yet – that’s for d*gs!)  He’ll bat at the brush at first – that’s fine, just stroke his paws with it.  Then try stroking his forelegs, and if he bats again, just keep with the gentle stroking motions.  He’ll get used to the soft touch and to this being a different kind of game.   Then, you’ll be able to extend the brush all the way to his chin and jawline for similar gentle and short stroking.  Soon, you’ll be able to "steal" quick strokes of the side of his face under his ears – the day will come when he’ll lean into the brush for a deeper stroke. Combine this with his feeding – you should be able to stroke him on his neck and back with the brush while he’s eating.  But don’t overdo it – the watchword is patience!     Once he’s used to the brush (he doesn’t bat at any more, but expects the pleasure of the stroking), try extending your hand the same way.  He’ll sniff, but he won’t bite if he associates you with food.  What he accepted with the brush he’ll also accept with your hand. Do keep talking to him, and doing normal things in his presence.  Cats pick up on emotional attitudes too.  He’ll get the idea that he is indeed an essential part of the "family".  Good luck!

Response:

>I’ve searched on google and lurked in >this newsgroup, but never found helpful >info that’s really specific to my situation.

You may find some helpful info in a post I wrote awhile back: http://groups.google.com/groups?selm=5729-3D377F49-113%40storefull-21… Since you have a room he likes to be in, you could limit him to that area instead of a large cage. I  also suggest that you get some Feliway and spray it in the room daily, and mist your clothing with a little as well. Spend as much time as possible in the room with him doing non-threatening things like reading or watching TV. Make sure he is not in a position where he is able to hide away from you, although giving him a cat tree with a high shelf he could consider as refuge would be OK. It takes a lot of time to build trust with some of these cats, but sometimes leaving them alone to go at their own pace does nothing to promote progress. It is probably better in this case that the cat has no choice but to be in close contact with you, which in turn will provide you with the opportunity to show him just how pleasant that can be. I hope this helps. Megan     "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." -Edmund Burke Learn The TRUTH About Declawing http://www.stopdeclaw.com Zuzu’s Cats Photo Album: http://www.PictureTrail.com/zuzu22

Response:

I started taking care of Chuckie about 3 years ago. He was formerly the "House cat" at a large, loosely-run rehabilitation facility. The Idiot who ran this operation and owned the building got bought out and evicted, and she only gave her sub-tenants 2 days notice that they had to leave and would now be, essentially, *homeless*. Some of these recovering addict/tenants were pretty screwed up, and the cat was never neutered, so needless to say the whole building stank of cat pee, BUT, I’ve been reliably informed that the cat was very social and friendly, and basically acted like he owned the building. I’m convinced the cat was severely traumatized by one or more of the people who got evicted, as I found lots of smashed televisions and mirrors in the bedrooms of these previous tenants. The building was quite secure after the eviction, so it’s not trespassers who did this. I became the custodian of the building almost 4 weeks after the eviction, and discovered Chuckie…he was thin, but looked healthy and spry and alert, but most importantly, TERRIFIED of people. There was no water or food, nor litterbox that I could find, but plenty of mice and rats to keep Chuckie fed and hydrated. I started feeding him cheap wet food (Fancy Feast) and Max dry cat food, changing his litter etc. He never let anyone get close, but would sit a safe distance and eat if I was far enough away. Cut to the present…for the next 6 months, at least, I’m staying in a multi-room apt. Chuckie is with me, had a check-up and rabies vaccine about 15 months ago, and was neutered. He seems to be healthy. But he won’t let me touch him, and hisses if I approach. He sleeps and hides in another room in a secluded spot I set up for him with a towel of mine; I dried myself with it a few times for "olfactory bonding" so he can get used to my scent. I talk to him a lot, feed him as much Science Diet/Triumph/Eagle-Pack wet food as I can, and Eagle-Pack Wholistic dry food to provide the balance of his caloric/nutritional needs, though I wish he was less picky about wet food. I give him Fancy Feast once or twice a week, the small can. His main covered litterbox is in my bedroom, with a small open-stile litterbox one in the room he hangs out in most of the time. I use clumping litter, and clean it daily. I set up a 2 foot high barrier/wall of 2 layers high of empty cardboard boxes, so that I can’t see him directly if he eats or goes into his litter box, nor can he see me. I want him to feel as safe as possible, and especially don’t want him to be scared/aprehensive in regards "going to the bathroom". If he thinks I’m asleep, he’s not shy about eating or loudly scraping his litter box for 5 minutes…after doing his business he bolts out of the box and out the door to "his area", usully waking me up. I give him some catnip every other night, and I gave him a large long piece of sheetrock that he loves to execise his claws on. He’s mostly awake while I’m asleep, and runs around very occasionally in the area where I can’t see him. There are no mice or rats in or near the apartment, and there’s no food or waste or other tenants. For awhile, he would sleep/hang-out right under my platform futon bed, in a spot where I could just pop my head over and literally be face to face with him. He was nervous, but no hissing. I’d talk to him that way too. I notice he hisses/retreats/hides if I raise my hand or arm. Also, I’m upset that he no longer sleeps near me. Anything that scares him seems to set back whatever progress we’ve achieved in getting him to relax in my presence, let alone hang out in the same room. I don’t know how to safely push the envelope, and I don’t want to have my hand or arm turned into raw meat either if he attacks me for touching him. It’s incredibly frustrating to not be able to pet him and be physically close to him, as I do love cats and my family had two when I was a teenager. I’ve looked at the feral cats group on Yahoo. I subscribed to their mailing list, but it was too heavily trafficked, mostly by inconsiderate regulars who would-cross talk on the list, and never trim their mail properly. The traffic in that group will fill up a basic yahoo account in less than two weeks! I’ve searched on google and lurked in this newsgroup, but never found helpful info that’s really specific to my situation. So it’s time for me to de-lurk and post my story, hoping to get some useful help and resources. TIA –John H. (Please post to the newsgroup, no email to be because of spam.)

Response:

I have no particular suggestions for how to deal with this situation, but something in your post did catch my eye: Your attempts at "olfactory bonding" will probably be more successful if you give your cat one of your unwashed sweaty stinky T-shirts to sniff, and not just a towel that you’ve used when you smell more like soap than yourself. -Sandra

Response:

| It is probably better in this case that the cat has no choice but to | be in close contact with you, which in turn will provide you with the | opportunity to show him just how pleasant that can be. There is one other thing worth mentioning here.  It may fall into the "obvious" category, but I’m surprised by the number of people who don’t know this. Never stare at the cat!  You may even "win" staring matches, but you’ll have sent the wrong message to the cat.  This is hostile body language to them.   The trouble here is that staring at what interests us is natural *human* behavior; most of the time we aren’t even aware of doing this.  It takes conscious effort to avoid it, but it’s important to use eye and face language that cats understand.   Blink slowly and often – it may help to smile as you’re trying doing this, or even to mentally say "I love you" while at it.  Look away, turning your head slightly, for a while before gazig back and blinking again.  These are all "I like you, I accept you" signals to a cat. And watch for the cat to blink back at you!

Response:

Arjun Ray’s advice about how to lovingly slowly blink at a cat is excellent.  I heard Dr. Patricia McConnell (a vet/animal behaviorist who had a TV show for a while on Animal Planet) describe it once as "look like you’re kinda stupid, with your eyes half closed, and barely blink, slowly."  When you see the cat blink back at you, you should feel every bit as rewarded as if a dog has come and lept all over you & licked you & wagged his tail.  Cats are just a little more subtle, but they let you know all the same. I never try to look my cats in the eyes unless I’m doing it that way. Rosemary

Response:

Congratulations on the progress you’ve made so far. You might try posting to rec.pets.cats.rescue since the folks in that newsgroup have a lot of experience rescuing feral cats, which have similar behavior patterns to what you describe. You may be able to make more progress by simply leaving the cat alone instead of trying to initiate a petting session.  So long as the cat associates you with food, he will continue to come around and will eventually become interested in getting a bit closer. This is the time to start the first steps to getting him to come closer.  I usually sit quietly and extend a forefinger in the cat’s direction.  The cat will often become curious enough to touch your finger with its nose, then run off.  Some people keep treats or some form of food nearby to encourage the cat. You really have limited success when you try to socialize a cat when it’s not in the mood.  I know it’s hard to force yourself to be patient because you want to pet the cat, but it really is better to wait until the cat is in the mood before trying techniques to get it to trust you. Good luck, and let us know what works for you. Bill

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I started taking care of Chuckie about 3 years ago. He was > formerly the "House cat" at a large, loosely-run rehabilitation > facility. The Idiot who ran this operation and owned > the building got bought out and evicted, and she only gave her > sub-tenants 2 days notice that they had to leave and would now be, > essentially, *homeless*. > Some of these recovering addict/tenants were > pretty screwed up, and the cat was never neutered, so needless to say > the whole building stank of cat pee, BUT, I’ve been reliably > informed that the cat was very social and friendly, and basically > acted like he owned the building. > I’m convinced the cat was severely > traumatized by one or more of the people who got evicted, as > I found lots of smashed televisions and mirrors in the bedrooms > of these previous tenants. The building was quite secure after > the eviction, so it’s not trespassers who did this. > I became the custodian of the building almost 4 weeks after the > eviction, and discovered Chuckie…he was thin, but looked healthy > and spry and alert, but most importantly, TERRIFIED of people. > There was no water or food, nor litterbox that I could find, but plenty > of mice and rats to keep Chuckie fed and hydrated. > I started feeding him cheap wet food (Fancy Feast) and Max dry cat food, > changing his litter etc. He never let anyone get close, but would sit > a safe distance and eat if I was far enough away. > Cut to the present…for the next 6 months, at least, I’m staying in a > multi-room apt. > Chuckie is with me, had a check-up and rabies vaccine > about 15 months ago, and was neutered. He seems to be healthy. > But he won’t let me touch him, and hisses if I approach. > He sleeps and hides in another room in a secluded spot > I set up for him with a towel of mine; > I dried myself with it a few times for "olfactory bonding" so he can > get used to my scent. > I talk to him a lot, feed him as much Science Diet/Triumph/Eagle-Pack wet > food as I can, and Eagle-Pack Wholistic dry food to provide the balance > of his caloric/nutritional needs, > though I wish he was less picky about wet food. > I give him Fancy Feast once or twice a week, the small can. > His main covered litterbox is in my bedroom, with a small open-stile > litterbox one in the room he hangs out in most of the time. > I use clumping litter, and clean it daily. > I set up a 2 foot high barrier/wall of 2 layers high of > empty cardboard boxes, so that I can’t see him directly > if he eats or goes into his litter box, nor can he see me. > I want him to feel as safe as possible, and especially don’t > want him to be scared/aprehensive in regards > "going to the bathroom". > If he thinks I’m asleep, he’s not shy about eating or loudly scraping > his litter box for 5 minutes…after doing his business he bolts out > of the box and out the door to "his area", usully waking me up. > I give him some catnip every other night, and I gave him a large > long piece of sheetrock that he loves to execise his claws on. > He’s mostly awake while I’m asleep, and runs around very occasionally > in the area where I can’t see him. > There are no mice or rats in or near the apartment, and there’s no food > or waste or other tenants. > For awhile, he would sleep/hang-out right under my platform futon bed, > in a spot where I could just pop my head over and literally be > face to face with him. > He was nervous, but no hissing. I’d talk to him that way too. > I notice he hisses/retreats/hides if I raise my hand or arm. > Also, I’m upset that he no longer sleeps near me. Anything that scares him > seems to set back whatever progress we’ve achieved in getting him to relax in > my presence, let alone hang out in the same room. > I don’t know how to safely push the envelope, and I don’t want to have my > hand or arm turned into raw meat either if he attacks me for touching him. > It’s incredibly frustrating to not be able to pet him and be physically > close to him, as I do love cats and my family had two when I was a teenager. > I’ve looked at the feral cats group on Yahoo. > I subscribed to their mailing list, but it was too heavily trafficked, > mostly by inconsiderate regulars who would-cross talk on the list, > and never trim their mail properly. The traffic in that group will > fill up a basic yahoo account in less than two weeks! > I’ve searched on google and lurked in this newsgroup, but never > found helpful info that’s really specific to my situation. > So it’s time for me to de-lurk and post my story, hoping to get > some useful help and resources. > TIA > –John H. (Please post to the newsgroup, no email to be because of spam.)

Response:

| I don’t know how to safely push the envelope, and I don’t want to have | my hand or arm turned into raw meat either if he attacks me for touching | him. Pushing the envelope is largely a matter of patience, persistence and consistency.  Cats will readily take to any routine they find congenial, and can be lulled into accepting gradual changes.   You’ve done a lot of things right already, such as giving him the chance to feel safe, allowing him to check you out at his leisure (e.g., when you’re asleep), and "scenting" the premises.  The remaining piece is to get him to *want* to be near you.   An important factor is that Chuckie should associate you with food: as they say, "food is love".  Get him used to the idea of eating in your presence.  Start by putting the food down and retreating to what now seems to be a safe distance (to him).  Each day, just move back a little less.  It also helps to feed at a regular time, so that the cat *knows* that it’s food time, and will thus focus more on the food than on how near you are.  Eventually, you should be able to have him eat right next to you. The other important factor is getting him accustomed to being touched gently.  You can try inducing him to play with a feather toy (a couple of feathers on a cord attached to a long stick handle, that you can wave and flop about), and while playing, stroke the feathers on his body. When you can stay close to him, try playing with a long handled back brush – e.g. the Quickie bath&shower brush with nylon fibers.  Let him sniff it first.  Slowly extend the brush face up at eye level or below, not from above, which could be threatening.  The idea here is to aim at stroking him on his chin, jawline, under the ears and thr sides of his neck (not the top of his head just yet – that’s for d*gs!)  He’ll bat at the brush at first – that’s fine, just stroke his paws with it.  Then try stroking his forelegs, and if he bats again, just keep with the gentle stroking motions.  He’ll get used to the soft touch and to this being a different kind of game.   Then, you’ll be able to extend the brush all the way to his chin and jawline for similar gentle and short stroking.  Soon, you’ll be able to "steal" quick strokes of the side of his face under his ears – the day will come when he’ll lean into the brush for a deeper stroke. Combine this with his feeding – you should be able to stroke him on his neck and back with the brush while he’s eating.  But don’t overdo it – the watchword is patience!     Once he’s used to the brush (he doesn’t bat at any more, but expects the pleasure of the stroking), try extending your hand the same way.  He’ll sniff, but he won’t bite if he associates you with food.  What he accepted with the brush he’ll also accept with your hand. Do keep talking to him, and doing normal things in his presence.  Cats pick up on emotional attitudes too.  He’ll get the idea that he is indeed an essential part of the "family".  Good luck!

Response:

>I’ve searched on google and lurked in >this newsgroup, but never found helpful >info that’s really specific to my situation.

You may find some helpful info in a post I wrote awhile back: http://groups.google.com/groups?selm=5729-3D377F49-113%40storefull-21… Since you have a room he likes to be in, you could limit him to that area instead of a large cage. I  also suggest that you get some Feliway and spray it in the room daily, and mist your clothing with a little as well. Spend as much time as possible in the room with him doing non-threatening things like reading or watching TV. Make sure he is not in a position where he is able to hide away from you, although giving him a cat tree with a high shelf he could consider as refuge would be OK. It takes a lot of time to build trust with some of these cats, but sometimes leaving them alone to go at their own pace does nothing to promote progress. It is probably better in this case that the cat has no choice but to be in close contact with you, which in turn will provide you with the opportunity to show him just how pleasant that can be. I hope this helps. Megan     "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." -Edmund Burke Learn The TRUTH About Declawing http://www.stopdeclaw.com Zuzu’s Cats Photo Album: http://www.PictureTrail.com/zuzu22

Response:

I started taking care of Chuckie about 3 years ago. He was formerly the "House cat" at a large, loosely-run rehabilitation facility. The Idiot who ran this operation and owned the building got bought out and evicted, and she only gave her sub-tenants 2 days notice that they had to leave and would now be, essentially, *homeless*. Some of these recovering addict/tenants were pretty screwed up, and the cat was never neutered, so needless to say the whole building stank of cat pee, BUT, I’ve been reliably informed that the cat was very social and friendly, and basically acted like he owned the building. I’m convinced the cat was severely traumatized by one or more of the people who got evicted, as I found lots of smashed televisions and mirrors in the bedrooms of these previous tenants. The building was quite secure after the eviction, so it’s not trespassers who did this. I became the custodian of the building almost 4 weeks after the eviction, and discovered Chuckie…he was thin, but looked healthy and spry and alert, but most importantly, TERRIFIED of people. There was no water or food, nor litterbox that I could find, but plenty of mice and rats to keep Chuckie fed and hydrated. I started feeding him cheap wet food (Fancy Feast) and Max dry cat food, changing his litter etc. He never let anyone get close, but would sit a safe distance and eat if I was far enough away. Cut to the present…for the next 6 months, at least, I’m staying in a multi-room apt. Chuckie is with me, had a check-up and rabies vaccine about 15 months ago, and was neutered. He seems to be healthy. But he won’t let me touch him, and hisses if I approach. He sleeps and hides in another room in a secluded spot I set up for him with a towel of mine; I dried myself with it a few times for "olfactory bonding" so he can get used to my scent. I talk to him a lot, feed him as much Science Diet/Triumph/Eagle-Pack wet food as I can, and Eagle-Pack Wholistic dry food to provide the balance of his caloric/nutritional needs, though I wish he was less picky about wet food. I give him Fancy Feast once or twice a week, the small can. His main covered litterbox is in my bedroom, with a small open-stile litterbox one in the room he hangs out in most of the time. I use clumping litter, and clean it daily. I set up a 2 foot high barrier/wall of 2 layers high of empty cardboard boxes, so that I can’t see him directly if he eats or goes into his litter box, nor can he see me. I want him to feel as safe as possible, and especially don’t want him to be scared/aprehensive in regards "going to the bathroom". If he thinks I’m asleep, he’s not shy about eating or loudly scraping his litter box for 5 minutes…after doing his business he bolts out of the box and out the door to "his area", usully waking me up. I give him some catnip every other night, and I gave him a large long piece of sheetrock that he loves to execise his claws on. He’s mostly awake while I’m asleep, and runs around very occasionally in the area where I can’t see him. There are no mice or rats in or near the apartment, and there’s no food or waste or other tenants. For awhile, he would sleep/hang-out right under my platform futon bed, in a spot where I could just pop my head over and literally be face to face with him. He was nervous, but no hissing. I’d talk to him that way too. I notice he hisses/retreats/hides if I raise my hand or arm. Also, I’m upset that he no longer sleeps near me. Anything that scares him seems to set back whatever progress we’ve achieved in getting him to relax in my presence, let alone hang out in the same room. I don’t know how to safely push the envelope, and I don’t want to have my hand or arm turned into raw meat either if he attacks me for touching him. It’s incredibly frustrating to not be able to pet him and be physically close to him, as I do love cats and my family had two when I was a teenager. I’ve looked at the feral cats group on Yahoo. I subscribed to their mailing list, but it was too heavily trafficked, mostly by inconsiderate regulars who would-cross talk on the list, and never trim their mail properly. The traffic in that group will fill up a basic yahoo account in less than two weeks! I’ve searched on google and lurked in this newsgroup, but never found helpful info that’s really specific to my situation. So it’s time for me to de-lurk and post my story, hoping to get some useful help and resources. TIA –John H. (Please post to the newsgroup, no email to be because of spam.)

Response:

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